Newsletter of 5/5/1998

Contents

1. Upcoming Events
   
   

   May 5, 1998 - 6:45 PM

   Monthly Meeting - LP of Wayne County. Optional Dinner at 6:30pm. Meeting starts at 7:45pm. Diane Barnes to speak. Plans for participation in 4th of July Parade to be finalized.

   Location: LaTrattoria Restaurant - 13736 Michigan Ave. Dearborn MI (west of Schaffer across from City Hall.

   Contact: Bill Shotey Phone: 313 278-3673 E-mail: Ben45@aol.com

   
   

   May 9, 1998 - 1:00 PM

   Adopt-A-Highway Cleanup and monthly meeting. Meet at the ELKS Lodge at the intersection of M-66 and M-61. Wear old clothes and comfortable shoes. Following the cleanup, we will hold our monthly meeting and Spring picnic. Meat will be provided, bring picnic type foods and tableware. Estimated meeting starting time is 6:00 PM.

   Location: M-66 Elks Lodge

   Contact: Greg Willis Phone: 616 779-3571

   
   

   May 12, 1998 - 7:00 PM

   Meeting of the Committee to Elect Diane Barnes to State Board of Education. All people interested in working on this important campaign are encouraged and welcome to attend.

   Location: LCMA Headquarters (also Brass Roots) at at 1035 Hilton Road (West of I-75 between Eight Mile and Nine Mile Roads) in Ferndale.

   Contact: Paul Soyk Phone: 810 977-3523 E-mail: LNUSGMB.ZZYQNH@gmeds.com

   
   

   May 13, 1998 - 6:30 PM

   Meeting - Libertarians of Macomb County. We will be viewing the second half of the Academy Award nominated film, WACO: The Rules of Engagement.

   Location: Fire Station Restaurant, 31185 Utica Road, Fraser (on the southwest corner of Utica Road and Groesbeck, just north of 13 Mile Road.

   Contact: Paul Soyk Phone: 810 977-3523 E-mail: LNUSGMB.ZZYQNH@GMEDS.COM

   
   

   May 14, 1998 - 7:00 PM

   The monthly meeting of the LPWM will be held beginning at 7 PM.

   Location: Brann's on Leonard street in Grand Rapids

   Contact: haas Phone: 1616 9427674 E-mail: haas@iserv.net

   
   

   May 21, 1998 - 6:30 PM

   Van Buren County Libertarians - A Double Bill! Stacy Van Oast, Vice-Chairman of the Libertarian Party of Michigan will be in town to visit us. Also, Mr. Kenneth Maxwell owner of Accutek Inspection Service of South Haven will talk to us on the subject of "Home Inspection, Private and Public". Mr. Maxwell also writes a regular column featured in the Herald-Palladium. This should be another good program!

   Location: CTs Restaurant - Blue Star Hwy & M-140 - South Haven

   Contact: Bill Bradley Phone: 616 637-4525 E-mail: bbradley@cybersol.com

   
   

   May 25, 1998

   Farmers of Cass County will hold a Hemp Rally on Memorial Day, 1998. The Andrews University Libertarians, LP of Berrien County, and South Haven Libertarians will be participating. The rally is for the promotion of legalised growth of industrial hemp. All other LPM members are welcome to support these farmers in Cass County.

   Location: Cass County

   Contact: Scott Beavers Phone: 616 944-1852 E-mail: scottbeavers@qtm.net

   
   

   May 26, 1998 - 7:00 PM

   Meeting of the Committee to Elect Diane Barnes to State Board of Education. All people interested in working on this important campaign are encouraged and welcome to attend.

   Location: LCMA Headquarters (also Brass Roots) at at 1035 Hilton Road (West of I-75 between Eight Mile and Nine Mile Roads) in Ferndale.

   Contact: Paul Soyk Phone: 810 977-3523 E-mail: LNUSGMB.ZZYQNH@gmeds.com

   
   

   May 27, 1998 - 7:00 PM

   Monthly Meeting of the Berrien County LP and the Andrews Univ. Libertarian Society. Discussion of plans for the Berrien County Youth Fair to take place.

   Location: Beijin Palace Chinese Restaurant, Downtown Berrien Springs MI

   Contact: Glenn Whitt Phone: 616 473-5708 E-mail: whitt@andrews.edu

   
   

   May 28, 1998 - 7:00 PM

   LPSC Monthly Meeting. Guest Speaker: Jack Down, President of Citizens Against Repressive Zoning.

   Location: Risto's Bistro, 113 S. Washington, Owosso

   Contact: Ben Steele III Phone: 517 288-5616 E-mail: bsteele1@tir.com

   
   

2. Michigan Membership Tops 1300 by Ben Bachrach, LPM Database Administrator

   Michigan Membership grew at an annualized rate of 30% in April. This was the 7th consecutive month that membership increased. The accompanying graph shows the new membership totals along with last year's monthly membership values.

   Those wanting to work on Membership Growth should contact Mark Heil, LPM Membership Chair at markheil@flash.net

   Back to Contents
   
3. Press Release from the Committee to Elect Diane Barnes

   FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
   April 28, 1998
   CONTACT: Paul Soyk
   810) 977-3523
   
   STATE BOARD OF ED CANDIDATE OPPOSES NEW TEST
   	
   SAINT CLAIR SHORES.  Diane Barnes, Libertarian Party
   candidate for State Board of Education, said today that she
   is just as opposed to the new High School MEAP Test as she
   was the old High School Proficiency Test it is intended to
   replace.
   
   The recently announced eight-hour version of the state
   proficiency test (given each spring to 11th grade students)
   was created as a result of hundreds of parents opting their
   children out of the previous 14-hour version of the test
   last year.
   
   "Merely eliminating some of the most outrageous aspects of
   the test and changing the name does nothing to address the
   fundamental problem of educrats trying to substitute
   successful private assessment methodology -- such as the
   Iowa test, Stanford, ACT, SAT and so forth -- with state-
   imposed criteria," said the Eastpointe mother of three.
   
   "It's really just a way of enforcing a mandatory curriculum
   because all the schools will inevitably end up teaching
   topics tailored to the test in order to ensure high
   scores.  The effect is that it takes the control of
   curriculum out of the hands of parents, where such
   decisions belong, and hands it over to Lansing bureaucrats."
   
   Barnes also questions how thoroughly current State Board of
   Education members have researched these tests before
   putting their stamp of approval on them.
    
   "Dorothy Beardsmore claims that board members are solidly
   behind the tests," said Barnes.  "But have the members of
   the Board actually read the MEAP test?  My experience with
   these tests has been that they are not testing aptitude or
   academic achievement -- they are based on social
   correctness and are not scholastic.  So it's not
   surprising," she observed, "that employers and universities
   would reject them when what they want is a reliable way to
   measure subject matter competence."
   
   Barnes, who recently won wide praise from both parents and
   privacy advocates for spearheading an effort to block the
   fingerprinting of 5th grade students as part of another
   "aptitude" test, also demonstrated her concern for
   taxpayers.
   
   "Here is an easy way to save us all a lot money," she
   concluded, "use any of the tests that have already proven
   themselves in the market -- instead of something designed
   to advance a liberal political agenda."
   
                                #  #  #
   

   Back to Contents
   
4. LP of Mid-West Michigan Adopts A Highway by John Willis

   Proving that Libertarians believe in doing something about problems rather than just talking them to death, the LPMWM has adopted a two mile stretch of M-115 in Osceola County. The section begins at the M-66 intersection and runs North towards Cadillac for two miles.

   "This gives us a chance to show people that the LP is concerned about the environment, while getting our name out in front of the thousands of people who drive that section of road every day," said LPMWM Vice-Chair Greg Willis.

   Both ends of the two mile section will have signs stating that the Libertarian Party of Mid-West Michigan has adopted the two mile section. The first cleanup is scheduled for May 9th.

   Back to Contents
   
5. And the LPM's "Outstanding Affiliate of the Year" is...

   The Tri-Cities Libertarian Party! (Look out Bay City, Saginaw, and Midland! The TCLP is here, and you know it!)

   TCLP Chairman Clint Foster was thrilled to receive the certificate honoring the Tri-Cities LP as the outstanding affiliate of the year at the Libertarian Party of Michigan convention April 5, 1998. Affiliates Director Stacy Van Oast will give the group their real prize -- a 3’ x 5’ banner proclaiming their title, at an upcoming TCLP meeting.

   What did the group, who’s other officers and activists include: Allen Bauman, Richard Jozwiak, Russ Burke, Jim Fitzpatrick, and Lynn Fitzpatrick, do to earn the outstanding affiliate award? Well....Shortly after organizing just about a year ago, one of the group’s first projects was to write and mail a letter to all of their elected officials, officially putting them on notice that they were being watched. And, of course, they are being watched! Affiliate members distribute literature throughout the community (which definitely is aware of them!) and several members regularly attend local government meetings.

   The TCLP publishes a newsletter that is informative, attractive, and lots of fun to read! They also hooked up a telephone hot-line (517)671-TCLP, which offers all sorts of information, they established a good, on-going relationship with a newspaper reporter, they issue press releases, and they post notices of their interesting, informative meetings throughout the area.

   When Jim Fitzpatrick, a student from Saginaw’s Delta College, expressed interest in starting a college Libertarian group, the TCLP was there to help him cross strict bureaucratic barriers. And when the LPM needed someone to host it’s February Leadership Conference, the TCLP again welcomed the challenge, and in fact, negotiated a fund raising opportunity for themselves.

   Their creative entry -- a scrapbook filled with pictures, fliers, and newspaper clippings; described the affiliate’s plans for the upcoming year: running several candidates and hosting a tax day “tea party” to name just a few of their projects. For more information on the TCLP and their activities, contact Clint Foster at (517)671-8257. Congratulations, TCLP!!

   All five entries for the LPM’s “Outstanding Affiliate” contest were excellent. Following are just a few of the terrific things some of Michigan’s affiliates are doing:

   The LP of Livingston County has one of the most active candidates, Teresa Pollok, running for State Representative in the 66th District. An OPH Booth was hosted by the LPLC at the annual Buzzard Fest, and the group hosted it’s annual Bowling Party in December.

   The Libertarians of Macomb County’s chairman, Paul Soyk, ran an all-out campaign to fill a vacancy in the state senate last year, garnering state-wide volunteer support and lots of favorable press for the LP. Education activist, Diane Barnes also received press coverage and officially announced her intention to run for State Board of Education at a campaign kick-off dinner in January. The LMC helps keep their community clean by participating in the county’s Adopt-A-Road program, they sponsored an OPH booth last summer, and they hold regular, well-structured meetings.

   The Van Buren County LP implemented a “Government Watch/Handout Program” in which LP representatives attend various government-citizen meetings and distribute a flier entitled “You Can Fight City Hall” to citizens requesting something from their government. In addition to running an active campaign for mayor and winning 41% of the vote (!), and speaking before different organizations on several issues, chairman Bill Bradley will be speaking before a crowd of between one and five thousand at the VBLP-sponsored voter registration/Operation Politically Homeless booth at the upcoming HempAid ‘98 rally in Vandalia. Oh, and last, but not least, the VBLP is working to obtain a 9’ tall, 135 pound cast aluminum statue of liberty to use in parade floats statewide! For more information on the VBLP’s activities, contact Bill Bradley at (616)637-4525 or at bbradley@cybersol.com.

   The Shiawassee County LP enjoyed a 120% increase in membership last year, with a 100% renewal rate. The SCLP helped decorate for the Festival of the Trees in Durand, co-sponsored a boxing match, made sure their local papers printed several of Tim O’Brien’s op/ed pieces, and had lots of letters to the editor printed, on lots of subjects where the l-word was mentioned! In addition to hosting the last two LPM leadership conferences (and setting the standard, I might add!), the SCLP promotes their interesting monthly meetings through flier distribution and excellent newspaper coverage. Their candidate for state representative in the 85th District, Max Dollarhite has addressed audiences from the Owosso Toastmasters to Baker College to the Shiawassee County Right-to-Life. And, of course, SCLP activist and officer Ben Steele just refuses to let anyone tell him what to wear while riding his motorcycle.

   As you can see, all entries to the contest were excellent. The LPM is proud of the high level of activism all of our affiliates display. In addition to recruiting new members, raising money, and running (and electing, I might add!) candidates, our affiliates and their members are the local political watchdogs. We have a lot of things to do and such a great variety of ideas and way of doing them! It’s really exciting!

   Keep up the good work, and start saving mementos from your projects now so that your affiliate can enter the contest to become the LPM’s 1998-99 “outstanding affiliate”!

   (Contest deadline February 15, 1999. For information, contact Stacy Van Oast, stacyvo@eesc.com)

   Back to Contents
   
6. Macomb County Tax Day Outreach Successful by Paul Soyk

   On Wednesday evening, April 15, 1998, the Libertarians of Macomb County conducted our Tax Day Outreach at the Warren Post Office on Mound Road in Macomb County.

   The following morning we received front page coverage in Macomb County's largest daily newspaper, The Macomb Daily. Summarizing our activity the preceding evening, reporter Mitch Hotts story entitled "Last-minute filers beat deadline," read as follows:

   Those rushing to beat the tax dead-line Wednesday found themselves in the midst of a "tea party" tax protest organized by the Libertarians of Macomb County

   Members of the Libertarian Party handed out phony million-dollar bills to last minute filers to help them "pay" their tax bills outside the U.S. Post Office in Warren.

     As a line of cars snaked slowly into the parking lot, motorists were greeted by Libertarians wearing American Revolution garb, urging taxpayers to support a reduction in the size of the federal government.

     "We want to get rid of the federal and state income tax and replace it with nothing," said Libertarian spokesman Paul Soyk of Sterling Heights.

     His message was well received by many late filers.

     "I'm upset with both (political) parties," said a retired federal worker who identified himself as John. "That's the reason I'm paying my taxes at the last minute. I'm (upset) with the system. If I didn't pay, I'd go to jail."

   Political philosophy aside, many taxpayers were rushing to make sure their tax forms were signed, dated and stamped as they headed into the post office...

   The story also contained a picture with the caption, "Rosemary Racchi of Roseville and .. Al Titran - members of the Libertarian Party - hand out fake million dollar bills to people mailing their tax forms."

   In addition to The Macomb Daily story, WKBD-TV, Channel 50, the UPN affiliate in Detroit, sent a camera crew, though none of their footage was used in their news broadcast, and two brief stories appeared prior to the event in The Detroit News on April 6, 1998 and April 12, 1998 informing the readers about our protest.

   The media coverage was fostered as a result of a press release prepared and sent to the local news media by our Media Liaison, Joe Zemens. Macomb County member, Al Titran, was the coordinator of the event and responsible for planning the event, which in part included ordering the necessary materials including the Tax Day kit, Million dollar bills and literature from the National LP and preparing signs used at the rally. Al also received assistance from Rosemary Racchi.

   Other planning for the event included, as a cordial gesture, calling the supervisor of the Warren post office in the first part of April and informing him of our plans for April 15th. He seemed apprehensive at first but said he would call us back. Three days later, after contacting the U.S. Post Office's legal staff in Chicago, he informed me that he would have no problems with our plans provided we adhered to a few reasonable guidelines. You may wish to know that the National LP has prepared and included, as a part of its Tax Day kit, legal documentation regarding this matter if by chance problems are encountered with your local post office.

   With Al and Rosemary dressed up in American Revolutionary costumes, our signs which included the LP logo and phone number reading "Replace the Income Tax with Nothing" and "Less Government = No Income Tax", we created a favorable impression not only to the press but to late filers and other members of the general public. Greg Creswell from the Wayne County LP, having seen the story in The Detroit News, joined us as well along with his daughter, by passing out literature and displaying his hand made sign:  I     Reject   Slavery What made the outreach successful I believe was the distribution of the National LP's "Million Dollar" bills. It allowed us to instantly develop rapport with the public as we asked them "Hey, how about a million bucks?" or "How about some money to pay those taxes?" Getting a kick out of this, they were willing to take our brochures about the LP's position on taxes.

   As a light rain began to fall about 9:00 p.m., neither Al, Rosemary, Greg, his daughter, nor myself proved to be  "summer soldiers or sunshine patriots." Rather, we stayed until all of our supply of the National LP's "Million Dollar" bills were distributed. In all, our literature was received by more than 1,000 of our neighbors.

   To recruit volunteers, we presented the project at our March meeting, informed all our members of the project in a flyer sent about our April and May meetings and finally Al Titran gave a passionate plea at our April meeting. Despite these efforts however, we failed to rally other volunteers that would have allowed us the opportunity to get our message to patrons visiting the Eastpointe, Fraser, Mt. Clemens, Roseville and St. Clair Shores post offices in Macomb County.

   Many of you know my stalwart stance opposing the income tax, so it may be difficult for me to understand why this was the case. Though I have some understanding. For example, I had jokingly stated after Al's presentation at our April meeting that "I understand however if some of you might find something more important to do on the evening of April 15th, like, oh I don't know, not missing your favorite TV show."

   Perhaps it is fear of the IRS or unfortunate incidents in the past. Libertarians, however, by their nature, particularly in our current state of affairs, are willing to go against the grain and courageously take on the tough issues or so I thought. At any rate, I was somewhat disappointed by our lack of volunteers.

   With Democrats never missing an opportunity to "help" us by raising our taxes and Republicans showing their true colors by refusing to cut taxes or government, the tax issue is ours alone. What's more, the patronizing of the American tax-paying public by  "revelations" of the evil the IRS has perpetrated upon them through the "hearings" held this past week, followed by Congress in the future abruptly doing NOTHING, will make this point more apparent to the public.

   And the tax issue is a great issue to own! Nearly everyone can understand the toll taxes are taking on their lives. That is why April 15th provides a superb opportunity to get across the LP's message about taxes. It is a chance to let people know that the LP opposes the income tax (on a day when their disgust with that tax is likely to be at a peak) and to let them know how to contact the LP.

   Concluding, I would strongly encourage all LP affiliates to summon their resolve and plan on holding their own "tea party" on April 15, 1999. The opportunities to get our message out are simply too great to pass up. Such an event, I guarantee you, will be highly effective as an outreach event for your affiliate.

   Back to Contents
   
7. Michigan's Upper Penninsula is Saved!

   The LPM is pleased to welcome our newest affiliate, the Upper Peninsula Libertarian Party! Organizer and chairman, Bob Black, a Libertarian activist and past candidate for state rep, attended the convention with his cohort, Tina James, where the new affiliate was officially recognized. Congratulations and thank you to all who are bringing libertarianism to the UP: Bob Black, Chairman; Charlie Gershfield, Vice Chairman; Tina James, Secretary; Paul Fox, Treasurer; and John Loosemore, at-large member. Also, congratulations to the 5 candidates the affiliate nominated for the ‘98 elections! You’re off to a great start!

   And thank you also to Michigan Tech organizer, Doug Hull, who helped get this affiliate off the ground.

   Contact Bob Black at (906)875-3913 or Doug Hull at clmtu@bigfoot.com for information or to join either group.

   Back to Contents
   
8. "None Of The Above" for Governor by Tim O'Brien

   The following article is the May installment in the Op-ed program written by LPM Chair Tim O'Brien. The op-ed articles are made available for publication to newspapers across Michigan.

   This month's article was printed in the Detroit News on May 4, 1998. You can read the News article at: http://www.detnews.com/EDITPAGE/9805/04/2edit/2edit.htm

   Delegates to the Libertarian Party of Michigan nominating convention in East Lansing last month selected "None Of The Above" as the party's candidate for Governor.

   Though the LP platform includes a proposal to add such a choice to every election ballot (giving voters the opportunity to express their displeasure with the candidates offered in a way that cannot be misinterpreted for mere apathy), the delegates knew full well that current election law prohibits voters this option even if it is proffered by a recognized political party in place of an actual person. The tongue-in-cheek, unofficial nomination came in a moment of frivolity, a welcome respite from long hours of the serious business of nominating what ended up being a total of 93 individuals for public office in the partisan elections this November.

   Only "minor" party faithful could appreciate the irony. Putting up "None Of The Above" as an alternative to the other parties' candidates for governor was at once an expression of both consternation and amusement.

   Under Michigan election law the ballot status of a political party -- that is, whether it is regarded as "major" or "minor" and, indeed, whether it may remain on the ballot at all -- depends entirely on the level of success of what is called its "principle candidate," defined as the one "nearest the top of the ballot."

   A party whose principle candidate garners votes equal to 5% or more of the total vote cast in the secretary of state's race in the preceding election is automatically qualified to remain on the ballot as a "major" party for the next election. A well-financed, high-profile personality (such as Ross Perot) can, by virtue of this peculiarity in the law, single-handedly create the appearance of an entire "major" political party.

   A party whose principle candidate garners votes equal to at least 1% of the total vote cast for the successful candidate in the secretary of state's race in the preceding election is automatically qualified to remain on the ballot as a "minor" party for the next election. The Libertarian Party consistently falls into this category.

   "Major" parties and "minor" parties operate under complicated and entirely different election rules which do not bear detailing here. Why qualifications for one should be based on "total votes cast for all candidates" and the other on only "the successful candidate" for secretary of state -- or, indeed, why it should be based on that particular race at all -- is anybody's guess.)

   A party whose principle candidate does not meet even the "minor" party threshold is officially dissolved and removed from the ballot for subsequent elections. All so-called "third" parties such as Libertarian, Natural Law, Green, Socialist Workers, and so forth, must struggle to clear this hurdle again at every election. Most, however, trip over the requirement. Individuals must then gather petition signatures equal to 1% of the total vote cast in the governor's race in the preceding election to "form a new political party," even if it is actually just a reincarnation of an old one. (Why this calculation should be based on the governor's race is, like so much of Michigan election law, also unclear.)

   When considered in light of the pervasive mythology that our's is "a two party system" -- though I would defy anyone to find such a description anywhere in our constitution or election law -- this top-of-ticket rule, the standard by which parties are measured, works to significantly under-represent the overall popularity of alternatives to the slate of candidates offered by the two, old parties who (no surprise here) wrote the rules.

   During the last presidential campaign Libertarian fortitude and forbearance were constantly put to the test by a seemingly endless stream of well-meaning folks singing different verses of the same tune: "I'm voting straight-ticket Libertarian... except I have to vote for Dole to stop that philanderer, Bill Clinton," or "I'm voting straight-ticket Libertarian... except I have to vote for Clinton to stop that dinosaur, Bob Dole." But the refrain was always the same: "I really like you Libertarians and what you stand for -- but when it comes to president your guy can't win and I don't want to waste my vote."

   This is, of course a classic example of a self-fulfilling prophecy -- made possible by the popular, though mistaken, perception that the United States, unique among the western democracies, has "a two party system."

   In any case the result was that from state board of education all the way on down the ballot, state-wide Libertarian candidates in the '96 election got anywhere from 82,000 to 154,000 votes. Unfortunately, the LP's presidential candidate, Harry Browne, (who was, of course, the party's "principle candidate") got a grand total of 27,980 votes. Barely enough to even keep the party alive and on the ballot for the '98 elections.

   Now, voters are, by and large, completely unaware of this arcane "top-of-ticket" rule -- which is why the Michigan LP made a conscious decision to make the state board of education race the highest one on the '98 ballot in which the party would nominate candidates. At this level the LP routinely garners nearly enough votes to elevate it to "major" status, many times the number of votes required to stay on the ballot. In other words the delegates simply did not wish to put at risk the opportunity for Michigan voters to consider the Libertarian presidential candidate in 2000 by running someone for governor in 1998.

   Inevitably, the next presidential race will once again jeopardize the party's very existence. But, the party faithful figured, the presidential election provides the best and widest possible forum to promote Libertarian ideas. Better to risk ballot status in exchange for that greater exposure than for the more limited opportunities of the current gubernatorial contest.

   So, in a moment that brought some chuckles and even a few outright guffaws, the delegates to the 1998 Libertarian Party of Michigan convention took a break from the arduous work of selecting candidates for everything from state house and senate to U.S. Congress, from county commissioners to state board of education, to nominate "None of the Above" for governor.

   What was so amusing about being caught between this political block and philosophical hard place?

   Simply this: everyone knew that even if the Bureau of Elections could certify "None Of The Above" for the ballot, they wouldn't dare. After years of manipulating election law to guarantee it for themselves, the Republocrats are, after all, well acquainted with the term "shoo-in." And none of them wants to find out how state government would work without a governor.

   Back to Contents
   
9. If a Libertarian and an objectivist were crossing a bridge..

   The following anecdote was written by one Emo Phillips and was originally posted to the San Francisco area libertarian announcement e-mail list. Sound familiar?

   I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?" He said, "Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?" He said, "Reformed baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

   Back to Contents